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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24910960">notes made in seaside</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lala_Zynx/pseuds/Lala_Zynx'>Lala_Zynx</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>X1 (Korea Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Bad Poetry, M/M, Poetry</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 03:53:22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,052</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24910960</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lala_Zynx/pseuds/Lala_Zynx</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>this is just a poem i wrote about them when i was missing x1 and their interaction so badly. And i have posted this somewhere else before and i figure why not post it here too. Enjoy a little bit of longing and denial of feelings.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Cho Seungyeon | Seungyoun/Lee Hangyul</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>notes made in seaside</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>i miss them so bad :( also e is for evan (seungyoun) and m is for michael (hangyul) as you know.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>#E<br/>
my yearning is encapsulated into your bunny teeth and booming laughter<br/>
there is a fire inside those angelic soul of yours<br/>
i want to be the oxygen<br/>
feeding it more alive and brighter than it was during the beginning<br/>
we are both fated to be fiery beings, twin flames keeping each other alive and well<br/>
and sometimes i wonder if we are too much<br/>
are we going to destroy each other<br/>
until we are left into nothing but embers<br/>
floating in the air<br/>
looking for each other<br/>
in the stillness of a pause<br/>
we are at a pause, right?<br/>
we are both fiery beings<br/>
falling in love with the sound of crashing waves<br/>
everything feels out of place<br/>
like going to the beach during winter<br/>
and looking at your tired eyes through the phone screen<br/>
looking for something we are both not familiar with<br/>
i am older than you<br/>
but you are wiser and more tender<br/>
when you hold me close and sing to me<br/>
brushing my hair<br/>
strand by strand<br/>
this is what god do when he try to piece together a universe<br/>
centered around heat<br/>
and again<br/>
we are both fiery beings<br/>
stood on opposite ends<br/>
dancing by each lick of swirling reds and oranges<br/>
my favourite colours<br/>
are the colours that made up a fire<br/>
oranges<br/>
and blues<br/>
why aren't you here<br/>
i am no longer familiar<br/>
with parts that used to<br/>
shared intimate space with you<br/>
i am whispering to this new roll of waves<br/>
are you there?<br/>
and the grains of sand i touch with my fingertips<br/>
are you there, my love?<br/>
i let my whisper carry itself to the sea<br/>
this is the piercing together of a prayer<br/>
i am resting<br/>
believe me<br/>
let me be, my love<br/>
just please<br/>
god, keep him well and warm<br/>
forever angelic, forever mine<br/>
i will split this jagged piece of desire<br/>
that lives inside me unwarranted<br/>
and let it cut me<br/>
i will let everything go<br/>
just please<br/>
let things go right again<br/>
let us go to the beach when its warm<br/>
just like its supposed to be,<br/>
like always</p><p>#M<br/>
kiss me, you said<br/>
and you were this web of contradiction<br/>
what are you trying to do?<br/>
the park bench is cold and so were your hands<br/>
i learn what it means when i saw you smiling<br/>
and laughing, bright and unattended<br/>
i am going up this hill with everything i cherish inside this gym bag<br/>
and all i can think of is the music you put before we sleep<br/>
continue until dawn comes<br/>
but why it is always quiet<br/>
just when the sun is a little brighter<br/>
i want to remind you next time to put the sleep timer on<br/>
then i wonder<br/>
do you even sleep at all?<br/>
im walking up this hill<br/>
my steps are<br/>
tracing the memory of your cold hands and the cold beer you threw at my lap and told me to enjoy it while you sing<br/>
and you said to me<br/>
does it sound good?<br/>
does it?<br/>
i want to hate you and the world<br/>
and im only twenty years old and all i know is hating the world doesnt make it love you<br/>
and so is hating you</p><p>you were shoving past people on the crowded sidewalk<br/>
we were walking and these two girls in front of us were too slow<br/>
and there were a pause in my mind<br/>
all i hear through the noise is you calling my name<br/>
trying to tell me to slow down<br/>
and im strangely afraid that if i slow down and let you walk side by side with me<br/>
i would run away all the way to my hometown and give everything up to forget about us<br/>
but i had my moments<br/>
of anger<br/>
of this strange animal living inside me<br/>
craving for intimacy beyond what is defined between us<br/>
when we were walking together and our fingers brushed<br/>
and i want to turn my palm over<br/>
and protect your delicate fingers from the wind<br/>
you are delicate and dainty and small<br/>
then you stood up to your full height<br/>
and i realized<br/>
this is the kind of person who look at death in the eye and make a friend out of him<br/>
i want to wake up next to you<br/>
next time, i will teach you how<br/>
to put meaning behind the empty promises<br/>
and words that supposed to deviate you<br/>
i want to taste how your laughter sound straight from the source<br/>
and i want to wake up before the music stop<br/>
and the sun rising<br/>
and tell you,<br/>
lets be here together again</p><p>#E<br/>
you can tell he did not do it often<br/>
falling in love, being in love, and stopping himself<br/>
he, true to his character, did not refrain<br/>
he opens up wide, cutting open his chest<br/>
he is used to with things bloody<br/>
and trails that went and lead nowhere<br/>
he now know that nowhere and everywhere are the same thing when you are living to light a blaze upon them<br/>
he always had been attentive and observant<br/>
but this is more, this is staying up until 3 am wondering why the same melody sounded different when he listened to it alone<br/>
the echo does not reverberate<br/>
bouncing off the person that had claimed his spot on the ratty leather couch<br/>
with his hands safely tucked inside the borrowed hoodie<br/>
and how he also tucked this person's heart in the grasp of his smile<br/>
when he answer, good, i like your voice</p><p>this is stirring the pot on the stove, making ramen when he was not even hungry, just to inhale the smell and feel the warmth of the bowl<br/>
he did not even like green onions that much and his hands already on the cutting board cutting the next ones when it is already too much<br/>
this is, longing<br/>
and this is the worst kind<br/>
because he could always call him up<br/>
asking him to come to his place right now<br/>
or driven up to his dorm<br/>
asking for coffee together<br/>
and yet he<br/>
put the green onion right into the pot<br/>
and wonder<br/>
what kind of love, that makes a bowl of ramen at 3 am to be the best and worst decision he ever made.</p>
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